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Ah! shall not they defert the house's gloom,
Breathe the fresh air one moment, and look smart?
"Meet, in some rural scene, a Colin's smile;
With Love's foft stories wing the happy hour;
Drop in his dear embraces from the stile,
And thare his kisses in the shady bower?
"No;" roars the Huntingtonian Priest-" No, no!
Lovers are liars-Love's a damned trade;
Kifing is damnable-to hell they go-

The Devil's claws await the rogue and jade. "My chapel is the purifying place;

There let them go to wash their fins away;
There, from my hand, to pick the crumbs of grace,
Smite their poor finful craws, and howl, and pray."
"How hard, the lab'ring hands no rest should know,
But toil fix days beneath the galling load,
Poor fouls! and then the seventh be forc'd to go,
And box the Devil in Blackfriars Road.
"Heaven glorieth not in phizzes of dismay;
Heaven takes no pleasure in perpetual sobbing;
Consenting freely, that my fav'rite day

May have her tea and rolls, and hob and nobbing.
"In footh, the I ord is pleas'd when man is bleft;
And wisheth not his blisses to blockade;
'Gainst tea and coffee ne'er did he protest,
Enjoy'd, in gardens, by the men of trade.
"Sweet is White Conduit-house, and Bagnigge-wells,
Chalk-farm, where Primrose-hill puts forth her smile;
And Don Saltero's, where much wonder dwells,
Expelling work-day's matrimonial bile.
"Life with the down of cygnets may be clad!
Ah! why not make her path a pleasant track;
"No!" cries the Pulpit Terrorist how mad!
"No! let the world be one huge hedge-hog's back.
"Vice (did his figid mummery succeed)
Too foon would smile amid the sacred walls;
Venus, in tabernacles, make her bed;
And Paphos find herself amid St. Paul's.
"Avaunt, Hypocrisy, the folemn jade,

Who, wilful, into ditches leads the blind:
Makes of her canting art, a thriving trade,
And fattens on the follies of mankind!
"Look at Archbishops, Bishops, on a Faft,
Denying hackney-coachmen e'en their beer;

Yet,

Yet, lo! their butchers knock, with flesh repaft;
With turbots, lo! the fishmongers appear!
"The pot-boys howl with porter for their bellies;
The bakers knock, with custards, tarts, and pies;
Confectioners, with rare ice-creams and jellies;
The fruiterer, lo, with richest pine supplies !
"In secret, thus, they eat, and booze, and nod;
In public call indulgence a damn'd evil;
Order their simple flocks to walk with God,
And ride themselves an airing with the Devil."

THE MAN OF METHOD:

From the Pursuits of Literature. A Satirical Poem.

T

HERE liv'd a Scholar late (a) of London fame,
A Doctor, (6) and Morofophos (c) his name :

From all the pains of study freed long fince,
Far from a Newton, and not quite a (d) Vince;
In metaphyficks bold would spread his fails,
And with Monboddo still believ'd (e) in tails;
At anatomick lore would sometimes peep
And call Earle (f) useful, Abernethy (g) deep;

With

(a) When I am very particular in the description of the character, I abstain from giving the leaft hint of a real name. "Quis rapiet ad se quod erit commune omnium? or in Le Sage's inimitable language, " qui se fera connoitre mal à propos?" I only give this as a A Character, and fay no more.

(b) The word and title of "DocTOR" is miferably abused. Erasmus long ago in an Epistle from Louvain in 1520 to the celebrated Cardinal Campeggio, obferved with some indignation, "Unde DOCTORIS titulo gloriantur, nisi UT DOCEANT?" Erasmi Epift. Ed. Lond. Fol. 662. I wish this were written in large characters over the door of the Theatre at Oxford, and the Senate-House at Cambridge. (c) Morofophos. i. e. Stultè fapiens But more presently of Dr. MOROSOPHOS, the Man of Method.

(d) A learned and useful Professor of Natural Experimental Philosophy at Cambridge. See his Works.

(e) All the learned world know how Lord Monboddo believed, and still believes, that men had once tails depending from the gable end of their bodies, supposing them to go upon all fours.

(f) James Earle, Eiq. Senior Surgeon at St. Bartholomew's Hospital, and Editor

of the celebrated PERCIVAL POTT'S Works. I have been informed that the notes which Mr. Earle has added are valuable; nor would I pass in filence the treatises he has given to the world in his own name, the result of extenfive practice and obfervation.

(g) A young Surgeon of an accurate and philofophical spirit of investigation, from whose genius and labours I am led to think, that the medical art and natural science will hereafter receive great acceffions.

(b) The

With Symonds, and with Grafton's Duke (b) would vie,
A Dilettante in Divinity;
Af pecial clerk for method and for plan,
Through science by the alphabet he ran.
Prudent, as Newton, in domeftick care,
With no Scriblerian (1) fcruples for his Heir,
He took, not e'en in thought inclin'd to rove,
A wife for regularity, not love.

A little architect in all his schemes,

Some fay, he had a method in his dreams.
Three feffions in the House he daily toil'd,
In every plan, in every motion foil'd;

Till like grave Nicholls in pet he swore,

"

I'll move myself; the House I move no more;"
Then penn'd to Pitt his monitory ftrain, (k)
As Murray, clear, and as fond Randolph, plain.

Refolv'd on ease, his travels were at home,
And Lum'fden (/) taught him to converse of Rome:
The arch Palladian and the Parian stone
He lov'd, the pride of Chambers and of Soane. (m)
But late, by Carter's (n) holy pencil won,
Wyatt and Gothick heresy would shun;

And

(b) The Duke of Grafton the Chancellor, and John Symonds, L.L. D. Profeffor of Modern History in the University of Cambridge, have both attracted the public attention by their various Hints and Obfervations on subjects of Scrip

ture.

(i) See the Memoirs of Martinus Scriblerus. Chap. 1. How Dr. Cornelius obferved all the rules given by the antients to those who defire to generate children of wit, which Dr. Morofophos magnanimoufly difregarded. He neither cared for the South or the West Wind.

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(k) The three great, yet familiar, Letter-witers of the age are, John Nicholls, Esq. M. P. for Tregony, 1797. Sir James Murray (Pulteney) Secretary to the Duke of York in Germany, and the Rev. Dr. Randolph.-See A Pair of Epistles in verse, with notes : the first to the Rev. Dr. Randolph, &c." 2nd edition, 1796. I recommend them to the general entertainment, and perhaps inftruction of the publick.

(1) That ingenious, accomplished, and very learned gentleman, ANDREW LUMISDEN, Esq. F.A.S. Edinb. has fince that time taught us all, in the most agreeable fcholar-like manner. See his "Remarks on the Antiquities of ROME and its Environs, being a classical and topographical Survey of the Ruins of that celebrated City." 4to. 1797. It is a pleasing and most judicious performance of a Gentleman who appears to have enjoyed the united advantages of foreign travel, studious leifure, and polite company. (m) Two celebrated architects. Sir W. Chambers, Knight, (of most heroick memory) was profound and fubftantial. Mr. Soane has more fancy and airiness of design, and is certainly a man of information and ingenuity. But he indulges himfelt a little too much in extravaganzas and whims. Sce the Bank.

The

profeffional knowledge

of

(n) I am obliged for this information to a Fellow of the S. of Antiquaries.Mr.

And oft in thought, by antique pavements laid,
With Lysons guide the military spade;
And once, for purer air o'er rural ground,

With little Daniel went his twelve miles round.

On Sundays at Sir Joseph's (0) never fail'd,
So regular, you might have thought him bail'd.
With Jones a linguist, Sanfcrit, Greek, or Manks,
And could with Watson play some chemick pranks;
Yet far too wise to roast a diamond (p) whole,
And for a treasure find at laft a coal.

Would fometimes treat, his wines of chosen fort;
Will. Pitt, with honest Harry, lov'd his (9) port;
In Scrip: not Hemings' (r) self more vers'd than he,
The Solomons, or Nathan, or E. P.;

The

Mr. Carter is a draftsman of the very first merit, but his catholick zeal betrayed him, affifted by some Morofophifts of the Society, to attack THE FIRST GENIUS IN ARCHITECTURE, in this kingdom, MR. WYATT. Longa eft injuria: longe ambages. It is difficult to prove that the Society of Antiquaries was instituted, folely to preserve the purity of Gothick Architecture, or to listen to the tiresome cabals of bufy Baronets, and meddling Romish priests. But to us, under the aufpices of Wyatt,

O Fortunati quorum pia tecta refurgunt!
Æneas ait, et faftigia fufpicit urbis.

(0) SIR JOSEPH BANKS, Bart. Knight of the Bath, President of the Royal Society, Privy Counsellor, &c. &c. has instituted a meeting at his house in Soho Square, every Sunday evening at which the Literati, and men of rank and consequence, and men of no confequence at all, find equally a polite and pleasing reception from that justly diftinguished gentleman. SIR JOSEPH BANKS is fitted for his station in the learned world, not more from his attainments and the liberality of his mind, than by his particular and unremitted attention to the interest and advancement of natural knowledge, and his generous patronage

of the Arts.

FORTUNE MAJORIS HONOS, ERECTUS ET ACER!

(p) The ingenious Mr. Tennant has shewn, in a paper read at the Royal Society, that he can reduce a Diamond by evaporation to Charcoal. I have heard, that Mrs. Haftings, and other great poffeffors of Diamonds, have a kind of Tennanto-phobia, and are shy of this gentleman. A poor Poet, like myself, who has neither diamonds nor any thing precious belonging to him, can only remind Mr. Tennant and the Royal Society of the old proverb, "Carbonem pro Thefauro." (q) I can give no better character of his old Port. We all know on fuch occafions, " Bacchum in remotis rupibus" is the fong of honest Harry Dundas, in all the wildness of highland Dithyrambick; while Mr. Pitt, on the battlements of Walmer, in his own and Virgil's fober majeity, "OCEANO LIBEMUS. ait." (r) Dr. Morofophos now and then dabbled in the funds. The gentlemen of the Stock Exchange, or The College, (as it is termed in City-wit) are much indebted to that eminent calculator of different payments, Mr. Hemings. Boyd, Benfield, Solomon Solomon, Nathan Solomon, E. P. Solomon, Thelluffon, Old Daniel Giles, Mr. Battie, Lord Lansdowne, Dr. Moore, Little Count Rupee, and all those who look an eighth better or worse for the opening, know that I am right, in pronouncing the panegyrick of this learned classick on the Stock Exchange.

"Prens

The Bengal Squad he fed, though wondrous nice;
Baring his currie took, and Scott his rice.
Loyal and open, liberal of cath,

(Not your damn'd dollars (5), or Bank-paper trash)
Nor tax, nor loan he fear'd, at table free,
And drank the Minister with three times three;
Till with a pun old Caleb (1) crown'd the whole,
" Confols, and not philosophy, confole."

He talk'd, like Indian (4) Rennell rather long;
And would at time regale you with a fong:
But seldom that; in musick though a prig,
The little Doctor swell'd, and look'd so big:
Nay to Greek (x) notes would trill a Grecian ode,
In diatonick kind and Lydian mode,
And then with Burney, as his fit grew warmer,
Convers'd of Stentor, the great (y) throat-performer;
Or with Raimondi's fire, and warlike art,
Play'd some French General's obligato part.
Banks gave him morning lessons how to dress,
And Morgan (z) whisper'd courage and finesse.

"Prens moi là bon parti; laisse la tous les livres.
" Exerce-toi, mon fils, dans ces hautes sciences;
" Prens, an lieu d'un Platon, ce Guidon des Finances."

A Poet

Avis de Boileau, Sat.8.

(5) This verse was evidently written after the 26th of Feb. 1797, after the order of Council was sent to the Bank of England, when the whole nation was made to pass through the pillars of Hercules; or in plain English, to take dollars for current filver.

(t) Caleb Whitefoord, Esq.-N. B. If you do but touch him, puns stand as ready as quils upon the fretful porcupine. I wish him health and spirits for many a year, in a green old age; and then with the Epinicion of Horace, Vita cedat, uti conviva fatur.

(u) Major James Rennell, the great Geographer of India, ὁ πανυ. A gentleman to whose accuracy and extent of knowledge this country is confiderably indebted. But this has nothing to do with his conversation.

(x) Dr. Morofophos, the man of method, was rather troublesome to his friends on this fubject of Greek Musick. He wished to pass for another Meibomius. But there is still reason to think that he never faw the three hymins to Calliope, Apollo, and Nemesis, printed with the Greek musical notes to which they were fung, at the end of the Oxford edition of Aratus in 1672, by Dr. Fell, or the more accurate copy of these hymns in Mr. Burette's Memoire on this subject. Memoires de l'Academie des Inscriptions, tom. 5.-Dr. Morofophos knew but little of the system of the Lydian Mode in the diatonick genus. There is also reason to think the knew as little, as Bishop Horley, of the Προσλαμβανομενος, the Υπατη ὑπαων, or the Παρυπατη μέσων, &c.

(y) "Stentor is celebrated by Homer as the most illuftrious throat performer of antiquity." Burney's Hift. of Music. 4to. vol. 1. p. 340.

(z) Maurice Mogan, Esq; an ingenious writer, author of the pleasant Extravaganza on the Courage of Sir John Falstaff. Mr. Morgan is known to his friends by the name of Sir John. In his politicks, he is of the Lansdown School.

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