IV.

He talks about his fragile health,
And tells me of the pains.

He suffers from a score of ills

Of which he ne'er complains;

And how he struggled once with death
To keep the fiend at bay;

On themes like those away he goes,

But never goes away!

V.

He tells me of the carping words
Some shallow critic wrote;
And every precious paragraph

Familiarly can quote ;

He thinks the writer did me wrong;
He'd like to run him through!

He says a thousand pleasant things, –
But never says, "Adieu !"

VI.

Whene'er he comes,

Disguise it as

- that dreadful man,

may,

I know that, like an Autumn rain,
He'll last throughout the day.
In vain I speak of urgent tasks;
In vain I scowl and pout;
A frown is no extinguisher, -
It does not put him out!

VII.

I mean to take the knocker off,

Put crape upon the door,

Or hint to John that I am gone
To stay a month or more.
I do not tremble when I meet
The stoutest of my foes,

But Heaven defend me from the friend
Who never, never goes!

J

LOVE AND LAW.

A LEGEND OF BOSTON.

I.

ACK NEWMAN was in love; a common case

With boys just verging upon manhood's prime, When every damsel with a pretty face

Seems some bright creature from a purer clime, Sent by the gods to bless a country town; A pink-cheeked angel in a muslin gown.

II.

Jack was in love; and also much in doubt

(As thoughtful lovers oft have been before), If it were better to be in or out,

Such pain alloyed his bliss. On reason's sco Perhaps 't is equally a sin to get

Too deep in love, in liquor, or in debt.

III.

"The lady of his love, Miss Mary Blank
(I call her so to hide her real name),
Was fair and twenty, and in social rank-

That is, in riches - much above her "flame";

The daughter of a person who had tin,
Already won; while Jack had his to win.

IV.

Her father was a lawyer; rather rusty

In legal lore, but one who well had striven In former days to swell his "res angustæ”

To broad possessions; and, in short, had thriven Bravely in his vocation; though, the fact is,

More by his "practices" ('t was said) than practice !

V.

A famous man was Blank for sound advice
In doubtful cases; for example, where
The point in question is extremely nice,
And turns upon the section of a hair;

Or where — which seems a very common pother -
Justice looks one way, and the Law another.

VI.

Great was his skill to make or mar a plot ;
To prop, at need, a rotten reputation,
Or undermine a good one; he had got
By heart the subtle science of evasion,

And knew the useful art to pick a flaw
Through which a rascal might escape the law.

VII.

Jack was his pupil; and 't is rather queer

So shrewd a counsellor did not discover,

With all his cunning both of eye and ear,

That this same pupil was his daughter's lover ;

And what would much have shocked his legal

VIII.

Fearing a non-suit, if the lawyer knew

The case too soon, Jack kept it to himself; And, stranger still, the lady kept it too;

For well he knew the father's pride of pelf, Should e'en a bare suspicion cross his mind, Would soon abate the action they designed.

IX.

For Jack was impecunious; and Blank
Had small regard for people who were poor;
Riches to him were beauty, grace, and rank:
In short, the man was one of many more
Who worship money-bags and those who own 'em,
And think a handsome sum the summum bonum.

X.

I'm fond of civil words, and do not wish
To be satirical; but none despise
The poor so truly as the nouveaux riche;
And here, no doubt, the real reason lies,
That being over-proud of what they are,
They're naturally ashamed of what they were.

XI.

Certain to meet the father's cold negation,

Jack dare not ask him for his daughter's hand; What should he do? 'T was surely an occasion For all the wit a lover might command; At last he chose (it seemed his only hope) That final card of Cupid, -to elope !

XII.

A pretty plan to please a penny-a-liner;
But far less pleasant for the leading factor,
Should the fair maiden chance to be a minor
(Whom the law reckons an unwilling actor),
And here Jack found a rather sad obstruction,
He might be caught and punished for abduction.

XIII.

What could he do? Well, here is what he did,
As a 66
moot-case" to Lawyer Blank he told
The whole affair, save that the names were hid;

I can't help thinking it was rather bold,
But Love is partial to heroic schemes,

And often proves much wiser than he seems.

XIV.

"The thing is safe enough, with proper care," Observed the lawyer, smiling.

course:

Just let the lady manage the affair

"Here's your

Throughout; Videlicet, she gets the horse, And mounts him, unassisted, first; but mind, The woman sits before, and you, behind!

XV.

"Then who is the abductor?-Just suppose A court and jury looking at the case; What ground of action do the facts disclose?

They find a horse, two riders, - and a race, -
And you 'Not Guilty'; for 't is clearly true
The dashing damsel ran away with you!"

XVI.

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