XVII.

These social sins are often rather grave;

I give such deeds no countenance of mine; Nor can I say the father e'er forgave ;

But that was surely a propitious "sign,"

On which (in after years) the words I saw

Were, "BLANK AND NEWMAN, COUNSELLORS AT LAW!"

RHYME OF THE RAIL.

INGING through the forests,

· Rattling over ridges,

Shooting under arches,

Rumbling over bridges,

Whizzing through the mountains,

Buzzing o'er the vale,

Bless me! this is pleasant,
Riding on the Rail!

Men of different "stations"
In the eye of Fame
Here are very quickly
Coming to the same.
High and lowly people,

Birds of every feather,
On a common level

Travelling together!

Gentleman in shorts,

Looming very tall;
Gentleman at large,
Talking very small;

*

Gentleman in tights,

With a loose-ish mien ;

Gentleman in gray,

Looking rather green.

Gentleman quite old,

Asking for the news;
Gentleman in black,
In a fit of blues;
Gentleman in claret,
Sober as a vicar;
Gentleman in Tweed,

Dreadfully in liquor!

Stranger on the right,

Looking very sunny,

Obviously reading

Something rather funny. Now the smiles are thicker,

Wonder what they mean? Faith, he's got the KNICKERBOCKER Magazine!

Stranger on the left,

Closing up his peepers; Now he snores amain,

Like the Seven Sleepers ;

At his feet a volume

Gives the explanation, How the man grew stupid

From "Association"!

Ancient maiden lady

Anxiously remarks,

That there must be peril

'Mong so many sparks! Roguish-looking fellow, Turning to. the stranger, Says it's his opinion

She is out of danger!

Woman with her baby,
Sitting vis-à-vis;
Baby keeps a squalling,
Woman looks at me;
Asks about the distance,
Says it's tiresome talking,
Noises of the cars

Are so very shocking!

Market-woman careful

Of the precious casket, Knowing eggs are eggs, Tightly holds her basket; Feeling that a smash,

If it came, would surely Send her eggs to pot Rather prematurely !

Singing through the forests,

Rattling over ridges,

Shooting under arches,

Rumbling over bridges,

Whizzing through the mountains, Buzzing o'er the vale;

Bless me! this is pleasant,

Riding on the Rail!

THE BRIEFLESS BARRISTER.

A BALLAD.

AN Attorney was taking a turn,

In shabby habiliments drest;
His coat it was shockingly worn,
And the rust had invested his vest.

His breeches had suffered a breach,
His linen and worsted were worse;
He had scarce a whole crown in his hat,
And not half a crown in his purse.

And thus as he wandered along,
A cheerless and comfortless elf,
He sought for relief in a song,
Or complainingly talked to himself:

"Unfortunate man that I am!
I've never a client but grief:
The case is, I've no case at all,
And in brief, I 've ne'er had a brief!

"I've waited and, waited in vain,

Expecting an 'opening' to find,

Where an honest young lawyer might gain Some reward for toil of his mind.

"'T is not that I'm wanting in law,
Or lack an intelligent face,
That others have cases to plead,

While I have to plead for a case.

"O, how can a modest young man

E'er hope for the smallest progression, The profession's already so full

Of lawyers so full of profession!"

While thus he was strolling around,
His eye accidentally fell

On a very deep hole in the ground,
And he sighed to himself, “It is well!"

To curb his emotions, he sat

On the curbstone the space of a minute, Then cried, "Here's an opening at last!” And in less than a jiffy was in it!

Next morning twelve citizens came

('T was the coroner bade them attend), To the end that it might be determined How the man had determined his end!

"The man was a lawyer, I hear,"

Quoth the foreman who sat on the corse. "A lawyer? Alas!" said another, "Undoubtedly died of remorse!"

A third said, “He knew the deceased,
An attorney well versed in the laws,
And as to the cause of his death,

'T was no doubt for the want of a cause."

The jury decided at length,

After solemnly weighing the matter, That the lawyer was drownded, because

He could not keep his head above water!