II. And such is she who sits beside me; fair And eyes of heavenly azure! There are men Of dark complexions, -I adore a blonde! III. There sits a woman of another type; IV. Across the room to please a daintier taste If so inclined, — that is, if they were wed. Some youths admire those fragile forms, I've heard ; I never saw the man, upon my word! V. But styles of person, though they please me more, (As Nature's work) excite my wonder less Than all my curious vision may explore In moods and manners, equipage and dress; VI. Swift satirized mankind with little ruth, And womankind as well; but we must own His words of censure oft are very truth, For instance, where the satirist has shown How thankless for the gifts which they have got All strive to show the talents they have not! VII. Thus (it is written) Frederick the Great Cared little for the battles he had fought, But listened eagerly and all-elate To hear a courtier praise the style and thought_ That graced his Sonnets; though in fact, his verse (I've tried to read it) could n't well be worse! VIII. The like absurd ambition you may note In fashionable women. Look you there! Observe an arm which all (but she) must vote Extremely ugly, - so she keeps it bare (Lest so much beauty should escape the light) From wrist to shoulder, morning, noon, and night! IX. Observe again (the girl who stands alone) How Pride reveals what Prudence would suppress; A mere anatomy of skin-and-bone, She wears, perversely, a décolleté dress! Those tawny angles seek no friendly screen, But court the day, and glory to be seen! X. O Robert Burns! if such a thing might be, (As thou didst pray for hapless human kind,) What startled crowds would madly rush to hide The dearest objects of their fondest pride! BOYS. "THE proper study of mankind is man,” The most perplexing one, no doubt, is woman, The subtlest study that the mind can scan, Of all deep problems, heavenly or human! But of all studies in the round of learning, If to ask questions that would puzzle Plato, If the possession of a teeming fancy, (Although, forsooth, the younker does n't know it,) Which he can use in rarest necromancy, Be thought poetical, your boy's a poet! If a strong will and most courageous bearing, If all that's chivalrous, and all that's daring, But changing soon with his increasing stature, THE SUPERFLUOUS MAN. "It is ascertained by inspection of the registers of many countries, that the uniform proportion of male to female births is as 21 to 20: accordingly, in respect to marriage, every 21st man is naturally superfluous."-TreaTISE ON POPULATION. . I LONG have been puzzled to guess, And so I have frequently said, What the reason could really be That I never have happened to wed; I am under a natural ban; The girls are already assigned, – Those clever statistical chaps They 've got a superfluous man! By twenties and twenties they go, And giddily rush to their fate, For none of the number, of course, For I'm a superfluous man! It is n't that I am a churl, To solitude over-inclined; It is n't that I am at fault In morals or manners or mind; Then what is the reason, you ask, I'm still with the bachelor-clan? I merely was numbered amiss, And I'm a superfluous man! It is n't that I am in want Of personal beauty or grace, I fancy myself in the van; Although I am fond of the girls, Is one that they never return; 'Tis idle to quarrel with fate, For, struggle as hard as I can, They're mated already, you know, — And I'm a superfluous man! No wonder I grumble at times, With women so pretty and plenty, To know that I never was born To figure as one of the Twenty; But yet, when the average lot With critical vision I scan, I think it may be for the best That I'm a superfluous man! |